AIRBORNE

I was born out of the air,
Meant to live free.
So don't come around now,
Telling me it's not to be.

You don't know me at all,
Know nothing about who I am.
You don't even know from whence I come,
What is my next plan.

Into the future no one can see,
But one can certainly hope;
Hope to make a difference,
No matter on how small a scope.

I learn from my mistakes,
Making amends as I go,
Don't put me on a pedestal,
I'm not a piece to show.

Every little dream of mine
I preciously hold to my heart.
I will do whatever it takes,
To give myself a start.

I'm on my way to glory,
Over the years I've grown;
It won't be too long now,
Before I'm airborne.

From Bombay Meri Jaan to Mumbai Le Le Jaan

Outrage. Anger. Frustration. Bloodlust. These are just some of the emotions coursing through the veins of every Mumbaikar, or at least every Mumbaikar with a conscience at this point in time. The trigger – the Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandez incident at Amboli.

For those who are unaware — and I don’t know how that possibly might be true — these two young men were stabbed to death for facing up to hooligans who sexually harassed a girl. The question in everyone’s mind is – how could this possibly happen?

The answer is simple – when people around are so dead within their souls, so mindfuckingly numb to everything but that which concerns them directly, then yes, this is possible. And in this incident one might say that the goons were many in number and were armed, which is why nobody tried to help the two bravehearts. Fine. Answer this, then. A colleague at work told me about this incident which drove the final nail in the coffin of Mumbai’s ‘safe’ status, for me. A few days ago, in a BEST bus (and everyone knows how crowded they can be), a man tried to act fresh with a girl. I don’t know details, but, in response, the girl turned around and slapped him. The bastard slapped the girl so hard, that she flew against the railing behind the driver. If this were not enough, the motherfucker tore apart the girl’s shirt and when she slapped him again, he kept molesting her again and again. And how could this POSSIBLY occur in a local bus full of so-called human beings who are fucking-excuses-for-what-call-themselves MEN? Same reason as the Santos/Fernandez incident could take place. And this was even more shameful, considering it was just ONE son-of-a-fucker who was completely unarmed. So yes, maybe the people on the bus were scared and worried about being safe because they had to think of their families. Well, all the men who were on that bus that day, and I hope at least SOME of you see this, I hope you picture your sisters/mothers/wives/girlfriends/grandmothers in place of that girl the next time you think about the episode. THAT is my curse to you. Now let me know if you can sleep peacefully at night. It seems the girl hurled abuses at the ‘men’ before getting off the bus. She called them eunuchs. I wouldn’t have. Because they were not even human, much less eunuchs. I believe eunuchs would stand up against such injustice. And what were the women doing? My friend (and I was disappointed in her for this) was crying. But why couldn’t a couple of women stand up and beat the fuckhead up? All it would take would be two or maybe three women. What happened to their souls? Are they so dead from all the molesting that they go through that it’s become routine? And so this seemed like nothing out of the blue?

All of these mindnumbing incidents have finally convinced me of something which I had known to be true for a while now, but was trying to forget. Others told me that was not the case, and I tried to believe them. But the fact can no longer be ignored – the city is changing. There’s something evil brewing within it, waiting to spread. And the people — the kind who commit such heinous crimes, as well as the kind who stand by and watch while it happens — are the hosts to this parasite. What they don’t realise is that this parasite is going to infect their lives so badly (and I hope to god that it does), that they will beg to die and not be granted that relief.

So yes, there was a time when I, at age 12, could return home all alone from a class at midnight with not a care in the world. Today, a decade later at 22, I am a bit apprehensive about travelling alone beyond 10/11pm. These incidents condition women to feel lucky if they return safe at night, rather than feel that it’s their right to be safe in this city that is the Mayanagari. The Mayanagari is changing. The sinister underbelly is boiling. And when nobody gives a fucking rat’s ass about it, the temperature only goes up and, those fuckers out on the streets only get bolder.

The Bombay city of dreams is no more. What has been left behind in its place is a dirty, filthy Mumbai that everyone believes is their oyster, that they can do as they choose with it, because clearly, nobody is going to touch them, no matter what their crime. The CM says the goons who harassed the girl and stabbed Keenan and Reuben should be hanged. Well, I will believe it when I see it. Until then, this city will be alien to me, a city that has gone from being the love of our lives, to the city that wants to snatch our lives.

For anyone who can still claim to have a soul, please, do sign up for this petition: SIGN A PETITION FOR ZERO TOLERANCE Petition | GoPetition

Life's Like That

Life is the cherry,

Upon the Universe’s cake.

You can be merry,

Or put everything at stake.

You could take life as it comes,

Or just let go,

For it will take its own course,

Like a Broadway show.

Put it in hibernate mode

And hit the snooze button;

Before you know it,

Your troubles will be forgotten.

But worry incessantly

And nothing will be got,

Except a massive headache

And you’ll have your happiness shot.

Treat it like a princess,

But remember there’s a catch;

The princess is a Damsel in Distress

To whom you have to prove your match.

So don’t worry my friend,

Whatever will be, will be.

Ke sera or not,

Can any alternative you see?

Most likely you won’t

And in that is a lesson, a fact;

Don’t worry too much,

‘Cause life’s just like that!

Contradictions!

So they say 'Make hay while the sun shines'. But they also say 'Think before you leap'. Okay, so it isn't the best analogy to serve as point and counterpoint. But here's the thing: us humans are a confused lot. Why? Here's why.

How many movies must we have watched wherein the guy falls in love with a girl thinking she's the 'one', but who eventually turns out to be all wrong for him? Who's the right girl for him? His not-so-glamorous best friend, of course. He realises his mistake, and guy and best friend live happily ever after. Now consider this scenario (Note - this scenario is more likely in TV shows): Guy falls in love with girl. Guy asks girl out. Girl says yes, but then things don't work out. OR, girl says no for one of various reasons (career/family/personal morals, etc. etc.) So guy, after moping around for a while, gets over it, and finally finds someone else, someone he's 'truly' happy with. Until he finds out that the 'first' love is real, the current one is, much though he would like to deny it, a sort of consolation. So back he goes to the first love, and now they live happily ever after.

So my question is this: Which of the scenarios does one believe? Or are we just supposed to decide that based on who the 'hero' and 'heroine' of the movie/serial are, and accordingly be happy for the end, whichever way it may go?

This is what I wrote in my SOP: George Eliot asks in Adam Bede, “How is it that the poets have said so many fine things about our first love, so few about our later love?” If she were alive today, I’d have liked to propose a plausible answer to her. Poets talk only about the first love because it is the most intense, the most uncorrupt, the most sacred and the most powerful love. If a person is lucky, that love will stay with them for the rest of their lives. If not, they will learn to love again. But never will they forget that first love.

But how about when Ryan Erikson (no idea who he is, but makes a lot of sense!) says: "The road to finding 'the one' is paved with a bit of promiscuity."

Having said that, though, I come back to the same point I made earlier. Which is correct? Which do you believe?

Confusing, us humans are!

All that is wrong

There are days when you manage to forget everything. All your worries, all your pain. One almost succeeds in convincing oneself that all is well with the world.

But then something happens. Something that reminds us that all isn't really well. It could be a look from a neighbour, a word from a colleague, the silence of a friend, the elusiveness of a best mate - that's all it takes to remind us of all that is wrong in their world; that's all it take to remind of all that is wrong in ours.

Yes, so hang me, it's in defense of Sachin!

A friend suggested I read this post, not without good prior warning. The warning: not something you will like, but check it. So check it, I did. What was the post about? It was pretty much a question mark about Sachin Tendulkar's greatness. Yes, the author does say, "This isn't a criticism. Though it probably should be. This is more like a plea," but the question that he raises remains the same. Why did Sachin fail us at Lord's?

Now, yes, I am a self-confessed psycho Tendulkar fan who doesn't understand how or even why anybody can have anything against this man. But that aside, I can read a negative post about him (after much hemming and hawing) if it is constructively written. This one, though, I believe isn't constructive at all. It mentions that Sachin has the ability to block out everything else and concentrate on his game. A commendable quality indeed, the author agrees. But, he argues, Sachin should have taken the energy at Lord's and allowed himself to be driven by that energy to play better than he did. So does that mean, in effect, that the author wants the God to give up his perfection to garner the energy at Lord’s? Give in this once, to achieve what the author might think is a more desirable result, just to give in every time? And had he done so, who’s to guarantee it would have helped?

Yes, Lara won the Windies that game against Australia, but hasn’t Tendulkar not stuck around irrespective of his personal health to provide support to a side? One may argue about the validity of this claim, but I am certain if asked, a lot of the Indian players will agree that having Tendulkar stand opposite them provides a sense of reassurance unlike any other. Is that any less of an achievement that Lara’s? Lara won them that one match. Again, I do not mean to detract from Lara's achievements. He's one of my favourites too. But Tendulkar won us countless by just ‘being there’. Just let it be known that the man got a century in the first innings at Lord's while suffering from a fever, and I rest my case.

Again, I have nothing (other than complete dumbfoundedness, if it’s a word) against those who are opposed to Sachin. And this author seems not to be one of those men. Pray why, then, this post? You are looking for one Tendulkar moment of glory at Lord’s, I just look forward to the moment when it comes, no matter where.

Mumbai Blasts

Having recently returned from a holiday, I thought my next post would be about the experiences I had there. But that will have to wait. Another thing must take precedence over it. A more important, but a far sadder event.

The Mumbai blasts which took place today, July 13, 2011 - at Opera House, Dadar and Zaveri Bazar - were a really sad welcome to the city. So far, over 20 lives have been lost and more than 100 people have been injured. Amid all this, there are rumours floating around about terrorist Ajmal Kasab - it is said it's his birthday today. Then they say it was a false alarm; then again they claim that it is his birthday according to the Urdu calendar. I have one question - Who the F cares when the man was born, when all we are praying for at this point is when he will die?!

It's at times like these that one really appreciates life. I was in Zaveri Bazaar just a week ago; a friend was there until 5 minutes before the blast happened! How is one supposed to know which place is safe anymore? Of course we can't know. So we're just supposed to say a little prayer and step out of the house, hoping we'll get back safely. WHY?

As Naseeruddin Shah says in A Wednesday, "We're not resilient by choice, we're resilient by force". Do we choose to be resilient now? But if we do, are we going to be forced to retaliate in a much worse way in the not-so-distant future?

Voices in my head

Voices in my head,

Are you all dead?

You’re supposed to warn me,

Not to do anything stupid.

Instead you desert me,

Just when I need it.

And then I do what I most fear,

Speak before I think, putting in danger all that I hold dear.

Before you know it,

The earth has from under me shifted;

Shifted so that I am buried,

Deep into an abyss towards which I had for long drifted.

But it’s your fault, oh voices,

For not warning me.

For not alerting me to the dangers that lurk beyond,

For not telling me anew,

How crazy things can get,

If I don’t listen to you.

Voices in my head,

You used to tell me all;

You used to remind me,

Of things great and small.

And yet now you are silent,

Silent as a lamb,

Leaving me to fight,

This battle damned.

Oh voices in my head,

It’s true I cursed you;

Asked you to go away,

But you took it literally, and silently faded away.

Into the night you’re gone,

But my pain hasn’t receded;

And all that could go wrong

Without you, has in coming true succeeded.

Voices in my head,

Now I’m paying for not listening to you,

But it is your fault,

For I loved, and you didn’t stop me too.

TIME MENDS

It starts with 'hi',

Moving on to a joke;

Before you know it,

You're a gone bloke.

The friendship deepens,

The ties grow strong,

You feel like you have

A shoulder to cry on.

And even though that's true,

You're misreading it my dear,

For of breaking their heart,

You should have no fear.

For they never loved you,

At least not in the way you thought,

And now you're just someone

With their nerves fraught.

But that doesn't really matter,

For you're still a friend,

And every other sorrow,

Time will mend.

Over You

Does it sound like the title of a song?

I don't care,

‘Coz I swear,

I have moved on.

It took a while,

That is certainly true,

But don't turn blue,

With you now I am through.

All the yearning,

The pain, the love songs,

Make me feel nothing,

‘Coz I have moved on.

You'd moved on a while ago,

You seemed to be happy too.

But it took a little longer still,

For me to not love you.

I was tired of not knowing

When I'd be free,

Of thinking incessantly

If you were missing me.

But of course you weren't;

You had started anew,

Leaving me with nothing

But memories few.

Well I guess it was worth it,

Knowing why it didn't work with you,

In the future I will make sure;

Now I know what to do.

You were intelligent and romantic,

You knew just what to say,

To make me forget my anger,

To make my resolve sway.

But you thought too much of yourself,

Blaming me and calling me names;

Never did you stop to think,

Was there any truth to your claims?

I loved you deeply,

More than you'll ever know,

And you thought my reluctance

Was my ego.

And so you had to look better,

Never could you be vulnerable,

And so you put an end

To this lovely fable.

If your pride can be hurt then,

Mine can be dented too,

And if you hadn't stopped me,

I would still have said no to you.

Three long years it has been,

Since that fateful day,

And how much I suffered since then,

I can't even begin to say.

Our paths separated long ago,

Though I kept looking back,

But I won't any more,

‘Coz I've taken a different track.

I took a turn;

An unknown bend,

But without you there,

My heart has had time to mend.

So here's wishing you a happy life,

One that is safe and long,

I can wish for all these things,

Because buddy, I've moved on.