For somebody who remembers the smallest of
details about the randomest of things, I often suffer from deplorable loss of
memory when it comes to certain things. Such as the date I first set foot in
Singapore. It was the fag end of July, the date being 23
rd or 27
th,
I forget which. But that was the year 2012. It is now July of 2014. Two years.
TWO years. Did I notice it’s been that long? Hell, no!
Time, to employ a cliché, really has flown
by. And I can’t even begin to explain how quickly. Life until the age of 23
(well, a month short thereof) was simple, steady. Not boring, never boring;
but… predictable. The levels of naiveté demonstrated by me were of
stratospheric proportions. Knowing all of this full well, the sister decided to
accompany me on my first foray into an ‘unknown’ land. Now, knowing—and
loving—Singapore as I do, it seems a laughable matter that I or anyone else
could ever have considered this place as one where I needed to be careful, on
account of the ‘unknown’ factor.
The first year went by with life and, more
importantly, my lifestyle, undergoing no major changes. Much as I dreaded
becoming a student again, I found that I could slip into the role—the pursuit
and achievement of good grades included—easily enough. Buddies were exactly the
kind of people I had always befriended even back home – vice-less, rock solid
and thus, to some, boring. The year was interesting enough to teach me how to
multitask, how to survive writing the most boring papers while holding a myriad
of different day jobs/internships. Getting out didn’t happen often, given that
I lived on pretty much another planet. But when we did, it was fun. I did have
a few friends outside of Uni, thanks to Couchsurfing, but I’d meet them only once
in a while. I went to a bunch of cool places, too, thanks to the enterprising
CSers!
Graduation was a time of great pride. It
also brought the brother to Singapore. Considering how adamant he was never to
visit, this was a major highlight for the year! Post graduation, the job search
languished. In the meantime, I shifted houses twice—which would have been
impossible without aforementioned Uni mates—and visited Bali for 11 days. A
trip home ensued, in which a short term work project in Goa was also included.
The Bali trip ensured I was flat broke by the time I got back to Singapore and,
once again, the dear darling Uni mates came to the rescue, as did another
Couchsurfing friend.
Amid all of this, life’s ups and downs did
not leave me untouched. From the highs of living an independent life to the
lows of losing a very young friend, it’s been a constant see-saw ride.
November was a period of desperation. Two
months for the visa to expire, a mind-draining part-time position in hand, but
no full-time job in sight. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
And thus, when I got a call from a certain country club, I blazed in and pretty
much put down an ultimatum. “You either hire me, or you don’t,” I said to them,
though not in so many words. Contrary to my own expectation, I wasn’t thrown
out. Starting January 2014, life in a stable job began. Early mornings and long
working hours meant early nights! Add to that the daily chores before turning
in each day, and I had newfound respect for all working women with families.
Move over, Superman.
But let me backtrack here a bit. While the
job search was ongoing, moving out of NTU meant I had more time, better access
to people and places. And so it began that I started going out more often, meeting
lots of fun people. It was always interesting because I met new people, learnt
new things. And then, in early 2013, I met a few people who went on to become faces
as familiar as my own. Was that necessarily a good thing, given that I now
spoke to fewer ‘new’ people every time I went out? Maybe not. But did the
experience of hanging out with them change my life? Yes – some for better, some
for worse.
Essentially, I was now, well and truly, ‘on
my own’. Even though I had lived in Singapore for a year, so far, Uni had closeted
me. The outside world was a whole different ballgame. Between job searches and
painful landlords, the list was endless. To add to that, I came to be in touch
with some people who were so different from me, I think it was the wonder of it
all that attracted me to begin with. I often felt ridiculously naïve; almost as
often as I felt glad to know a bunch of people who had so much to teach and share;
it was incredible.
But my time in the ‘outside’ world also
brought me in touch with elements I had never experienced before. From not
having my best friend standing next to me to offer a way to politely refuse the
advances of men at clubs, to seeing the absolute recklessness and debauchery
demonstrated by some people, I used to be left speechless. And then I was
asked, “Why do you get so culture-shocked?” That’s when I knew I had to either
get with it, or get out of it. So I chose the former – to some extent. Has that
always been a good idea? Absolutely not. Has it taught me more in the past one
year than I learnt in 24 years prior to that? Yes. I still can’t understand some
behaviours, thought processes and attitudes, but at least now, I can camouflage
my feelings.
Sadly, I have also begun to do something I
never thought I would – I have begun to comprehend things that, in the past,
wouldn’t have penetrated my power of reasoning because they were so alien. And
that was a good thing. Because this, the new me, the one that comprehends all
this, has also learnt to be less rigid. The world is no longer all white or
black. The shades of grey that I had managed to avoid for the longest time have
seeped into the lens that I view the world with, as well. But what hasn’t
changed, is the way I feel about it. And that’s worse, because I now do things
that are in accordance with my new behaviour, but not so with my old beliefs.
And this constant internal tug-of-war is soul draining.
That’s life in Singapore so far. But it
certainly wasn’t all bad. The only difference is, some of these are things I
should have learned much earlier in life, to save me the multiplied effects
now. It’s always better to learn late than never to learn at all, but the
longer we take to learn life’s lessons, the harder the task of doing so. And I
had to learn the really, really hard way; but at least I learned.
Friends from India who have stuck by my
side like my shadow during this phase know the changes and therefore empathise,
but I suspect those whom I haven’t met in the last two years will barely, if at
all, recognise the person I have become.
So that’s what two years in Singapore have
been like. I love my life here and I love the independence, the sense of
accomplishment that I feel every day. So what if I don’t always like the me
doing all of these things.
P.S.: I’ve sat in a car in Singapore plenty
of times, but never on a bike. Just as the two year-mark was coming to a close,
and I was panicking at crossing another year without a bike ride in Singapore,
an angel heard me and I got the most perfect bike ride – empty stretch of road,
at 2:00am, with a cool breeze. Dear angel, if you are reading this, a big Thank
You! (And I wouldn’t mind another ride.)
