I Sat with Strangers

I sat with strangers,

Stared in their eyes.

Saw their emotions;

That was my prize.

A minute of silence;

Baring their souls.

Without manipulation;

That was the goal.

Many a stranger went;

I was about to call it a day.

Then the crowd parted,

And in walked Ulay.

A man I hadn’t seen

In three decades or more,

Sat in front of me,

My emotions in uproar.

The longest wall in the world

Had seemed even longer,

When we met in the middle,

The parting grief made stronger.

And here he was now,

Thirty long years hence.

Time had replaced the wall

With an invisible fence.

The tears ran,

He took my hand,

But neither said a word.

And then the minute was up

He left; I never saw him again.

This poem was inspired by this video.

Hello, New Year!

Before I started writing this, I went back and read the note I wrote at the beginning of 2014.

I realised everything that I had promised myself had more or less gone down the drain. Now, I’m wondering whether this is just me, or does this happen to a lot of people? I’m not one to make resolutions for the new year, never have been. But, I do hope to learn from the past and use that to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

Last year, I promised myself a few things. To extricate myself from complicated situations and the company of negative people, for instance. Can’t say I managed to do that well, but in my defence, I tried. I also promised to learn from my past mistakes. Golly gee, did I throw that out the window! 2014 was the one year I made the most glorious mistakes; mistakes I’m likely to remember (if not pay for) for the rest of my life, ones that some of my not-so-sane-minded friends would be proud of me for making. But I’m also glad I made them. They’ve taught me so much about myself. I now know me better.

If I thought 2013 had been epic, 2014 completely blew that out of the water. With no job uncertainties to worry about, and with enough dough to spend, I had an unbelievable year. From travelling (solo and with friends and family) to three new countries, to finding a dance form that I love and am determined to pursue seriously, life has, in general, been very good to me.

In that sense, everything that I wished for at the start of 2014, came true. The year exceeded all expectations I had of it. And the mistakes I made (yes, I keep coming back to those) were great stepping stones as well. I’m a different person, thanks to them.

As for what 2015 will bring, I’m not going to set any goals or expectations for myself. Of course, I do hope that it’s a good year, but beyond that, I will just deal with whatever is thrown my way. Make fewer mistakes? Easier said than done. Earn more money? Will work harder for it. Achieve greater heights and be more awesome? That’s a lifelong aim; not just one for the new year!

Goodbye, 2013, and thank you: 2014

The year 2013 has been rather interesting. From the highs of learning to live alone in Singapore, to passing my Master's and graduating at a grand ceremony, to the lows of uncertainty about finding a job, and emotional drama galore, it's been a hell of a ride.

The year has taught me so much that I had failed to learn in the 23 years of my life prior to that. Just one year has been enough to bring into relief the harsh realities of life. It was enough to snatch away the rose-tinted glasses that formed my vision on the world. But was it necessarily such a bad thing? I don't think so.

Now I know what can and will go wrong if I let it, I will be less square, try harder, and generally be smarter about how I conduct myself and what I do with my life.

The year has served to make me more cynical of several things, less wary of some others, downright distrustful of some, and more respectful of some others. It has made me stronger in so many ways and for so many reasons - sometimes on account of mistakes I've made, sometimes because I had no choice but to accept certain realities, whether I like them or not.

Then there were the really cool bits. Like Graduation. The pride of wearing the graduation gown, having my brother with me during that most important moment of my life, and sharing the joy and pride with him - the experience was unforgettable. Family's visits were also great highlights from my year. Taking a trip to Malaysia with mom, being a tourist anew in Singapore with my sister and darling little nephew, and finally visiting Universal Studios with my brother - all of these things made my year a super happy one. And then of course, there was the Bali trip! The epic trip where I trekked up an active volcano with my coolest travel buddy, and surfed with people for the first time ever, it is an unforgettable part of the year 2013 for me.

In this backdrop of happiness there was loss - the loss of a dear friend in tragic circumstances marred the year greatly. She is dearly missed and fondly thought of and has served to make many of us so much more responsible...

And then there's the ever present heart woes. The loss of love that never really existed was difficult. And in a new place, in a new atmosphere, I wanted to be more mature about it, which only served to make matters worse. Can't say I succeeded in getting over it, but I am certain eventually I will, because every day I try harder to achieve that end.

The year of marriages! So many friends got married, I've lost track! Those who are already married, were busy having babies, and the general life stage changes had me feeling as if I was stuck in a place from where I couldn't move, yet everything around me continued to change at mindboggling speed.

And now the eventful year is over. The year 2014 has already begun on an interesting note, and it can only get better. But this year, thanks to the last, I am going to be smarter, kinder, more aware, less stupid and naive, and a better and more evolved person in general. I will work hard for things, and achieve what I want, I will not allow meaningless things and people to become the centre of my world, and I will combine the person I used to be with the individual I can be, with the help of the wisdom culled from last year, and a positive outlook on the new one.