You have so many hopes, so many aspirations. Yet, you live for those around you; for those you love. Not that you’re complaining, because you truly love them, and want to do something in return for all that they’ve done for you. But sometimes you just want to do something for yourself. Problem is, you don’t know what.
When it comes to others, you know what you can – or should – do for them; it’s simple. They want something – you give it to them. But that’s because they know what they want, you don’t. Even if it’s not possible for you to give them something, you try your darnedest, and when you still can’t, then you continue to feel bad about it.
As each day passes, you want something else, you covet something new. Yet, you don’t try to get it, because you’re too scared to try; you’ve already assumed you are going to fail. With others, you don’t feel like that; you don’t feel their failure. Therefore it is easier for you to give them what they want.
You like to see people that you love happy, but what makes you happy? This, what you’re doing now, or something else? Do you like to listen to music, or are you happier when you dance, or perhaps when you read? Or maybe when you write?
Why am I talking about you? Probably for the same reason as I’m afraid to admit that you are a mirror.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
She was scared
She was scared to try out new things,
For she thought she would fail,
She never would have imagined,
That her ship, too, could set sail.
She had lived like a loner,
All her life,
Most of which had been,
Laden with personal strife.
She used to lie to people,
And say she was fine,
When, in reality,
She was always out of line.
She had friends whom she loved,
But she couldn’t tell them that,
And one fine day she found
Herself, alone on the field to bat.
She loved a man, too,
But she didn’t know it,
She thought he wasn’t worth it,
And so she didn’t show it.
Then he was gone,
And she knew it was for best,
But her cruel soul,
Wouldn’t let her rest.
She knows that he now has a life,
Which doesn’t include her,
And the thought hurts so much my friend,
That it makes me shudder.
“Today”, she thought to herself,
“I’ll let it all out,”
“I’ll make myself free somehow,”
As her heart thudded loud.
And she knew she wouldn’t sleep that night,
Not with her heart brimming,
But the ways of the heart are strange for sure,
And soon, she was dreaming!
For she thought she would fail,
She never would have imagined,
That her ship, too, could set sail.
She had lived like a loner,
All her life,
Most of which had been,
Laden with personal strife.
She used to lie to people,
And say she was fine,
When, in reality,
She was always out of line.
She had friends whom she loved,
But she couldn’t tell them that,
And one fine day she found
Herself, alone on the field to bat.
She loved a man, too,
But she didn’t know it,
She thought he wasn’t worth it,
And so she didn’t show it.
Then he was gone,
And she knew it was for best,
But her cruel soul,
Wouldn’t let her rest.
She knows that he now has a life,
Which doesn’t include her,
And the thought hurts so much my friend,
That it makes me shudder.
“Today”, she thought to herself,
“I’ll let it all out,”
“I’ll make myself free somehow,”
As her heart thudded loud.
And she knew she wouldn’t sleep that night,
Not with her heart brimming,
But the ways of the heart are strange for sure,
And soon, she was dreaming!
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today, I spoke to one of my closest friends over the phone after a long, long time. Ours is a story very common, yet unique. We started out the way many people who later become the best of friends do – as enemies. Well, not enemies exactly, but we never got along well. For some reason, he had decided to dislike me and make it known to me that he disliked me! That very often led to bickering amongst us.
We met in junior college, a time when everyone is looking for fresh starts, new friends, boyfriends / girlfriends… we were no different. But this is where the similarity of our relationship with that of many others ends. Because that was one time when we didn’t like the sight of one another, and now is another, when we are very close friends. How it happened, well, neither of us knows, to be very honest (maybe he does, but I certainly don’t). Maybe he realised that I was not the person he really thought I was, which happens when one assumes things about people one doesn’t even know, what you may call prejudice.
So anyway, getting back to the present, after all the good times that we’ve shared, there really haven’t been any bad times – except maybe the times when I thought he was being too insensitive, which I still feel at times, or he thought I was too slow in getting across what I wanted to say, which he still does even today – we’ve reached a point where we don’t need to be in constant touch to know that we’re there for each other, always. Speaking to him today felt really good, as it always does. It brought a smile to my face, like it always does. Sure, he said a lot of things which were absolute rubbish, (which I will fight with him over if he objects, which he will if he ever reads this) but even that felt good to hear, because it’s so him. We chatted for over an hour, and we fought over why I never call him up, which we always do, (lot of ‘always’, I notice) and we flirted, like we always do, both knowing that it was nothing but just a bit of harmless flirting, if there is any such thing. Sure, along the way, we went through a phase where one developed a liking for the other, (I won’t mention who liked who) as is to be expected in any close relationship, and we got over that, because the other person wasn’t ready for it. But now, it seems maybe, just maybe, the other person is ready…
We’ve gone through all of that, and as I’m writing this, for the first time I don’t know how to end this note, which is usually never a problem for me. But again, as I’m writing, a thought strikes me – I don’t know how to end because there is no end. The telephone conversation has ended, but this friendship, not just yet, and as far as I can see, won’t for quite sometime! Amen to that!! So long then, dear diary, take care, get back to you later!!
Today, I spoke to one of my closest friends over the phone after a long, long time. Ours is a story very common, yet unique. We started out the way many people who later become the best of friends do – as enemies. Well, not enemies exactly, but we never got along well. For some reason, he had decided to dislike me and make it known to me that he disliked me! That very often led to bickering amongst us.
We met in junior college, a time when everyone is looking for fresh starts, new friends, boyfriends / girlfriends… we were no different. But this is where the similarity of our relationship with that of many others ends. Because that was one time when we didn’t like the sight of one another, and now is another, when we are very close friends. How it happened, well, neither of us knows, to be very honest (maybe he does, but I certainly don’t). Maybe he realised that I was not the person he really thought I was, which happens when one assumes things about people one doesn’t even know, what you may call prejudice.
So anyway, getting back to the present, after all the good times that we’ve shared, there really haven’t been any bad times – except maybe the times when I thought he was being too insensitive, which I still feel at times, or he thought I was too slow in getting across what I wanted to say, which he still does even today – we’ve reached a point where we don’t need to be in constant touch to know that we’re there for each other, always. Speaking to him today felt really good, as it always does. It brought a smile to my face, like it always does. Sure, he said a lot of things which were absolute rubbish, (which I will fight with him over if he objects, which he will if he ever reads this) but even that felt good to hear, because it’s so him. We chatted for over an hour, and we fought over why I never call him up, which we always do, (lot of ‘always’, I notice) and we flirted, like we always do, both knowing that it was nothing but just a bit of harmless flirting, if there is any such thing. Sure, along the way, we went through a phase where one developed a liking for the other, (I won’t mention who liked who) as is to be expected in any close relationship, and we got over that, because the other person wasn’t ready for it. But now, it seems maybe, just maybe, the other person is ready…
We’ve gone through all of that, and as I’m writing this, for the first time I don’t know how to end this note, which is usually never a problem for me. But again, as I’m writing, a thought strikes me – I don’t know how to end because there is no end. The telephone conversation has ended, but this friendship, not just yet, and as far as I can see, won’t for quite sometime! Amen to that!! So long then, dear diary, take care, get back to you later!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
It rained fours and sixes
This sure was the case in the 17th match of the IPL – Mumbai Indians (MI) v/s Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR). After a not-so-good performance in the previous matches by both teams, expectations were high among the supporters on both sides.
Sachin Tendulkar, captain of the MI, won the toss and elected to bat first. Right from the start, the two opening batsmen – Tendulkar and Sanath Jayasurya – came down strong on the bowlers of the KKR.
The match saw quite a few landmarks, namely, one of the best totals put up by a team in the first innings, (187 runs), a fantastic partnership between the two openers of the MI, and, the most important of all, Sachin Tendulkar’s highest ever IPL total (68 runs).
Right from the beginning of the match, the KKR looked under pressure (evident from the mis-fielding in the very first ball, and also from the fact that Anureet Singh had to retire while trying to save a four hit by Tendulkar early in the match). The match was especially memorable because not even one wicket had fallen till the end of the first 10 overs. When Tendulkar finally did get out on an LBW appeal, (superb bowling by Lakshmi Shukla), it was not before he had made an amazing 68 runs off only 45 balls.
A surprising development was Harbhajan Singh coming in at 1-down. However, he did his job, and before he fell prey to Mendis, (caught out), he had hit two sixes, and made a total of 18 runs off just eight balls.
Then came Abhishek Nayar and J. P. Duminy, who failed to make any significant contributions. All this while, Jayasurya had stayed put, but finally got out on a ball by Shukla once again. However, he had, by then, made a fantastic 52 runs off only 32 balls. Thereafter, the wickets started falling in quick succession, but by the time the 20 overs were completed, the damage had been done, with the MI ending with a fabulous 187 – 6.
Like they say, ‘the game of cricket is never over until it’s over’, expectations were once again riding high on the openers of the KKR, Brendon McCullum and Chris Gayle. However, due to immense pressure on the two, only four runs were made in the first over. Soon, the wickets started falling as first McCullum (who got out on a ball by Lasith Malinga; one run off six balls) and then Gayle (ball – Bravo, catch – Tendulkar; 12 runs off 11 balls) got out. Former captain of the KKR, Saurav Ganguly, and Brad Hodge managed to get a 50 run partnership off 39 balls, but just when things were beginning to look up, they got out, too. From then on, it was a downward fall for the KKR, and before they knew it, they were all out after having made only 95 runs, thus losing by more that 90 runs, one of the worst scores ever by any team in an IPL match.
From the get-go, the MI looked determined to win the match. The ‘DLF Maximum’ award for hitting the maximum number of sixes was shared by the two openers of the MI, Tendulkar and Jayasurya, and the Man of the Match prize was also given to Tendulkar, while Lasith Malinga claimed the purple cap for taking the maximum number of wickets in the series till now.
By far one of the most entertaining matches in the season so far, this victory scooted the MI to the third position (where they must be very happy to be) and looking to make it to the top spot.
Sachin Tendulkar, captain of the MI, won the toss and elected to bat first. Right from the start, the two opening batsmen – Tendulkar and Sanath Jayasurya – came down strong on the bowlers of the KKR.
The match saw quite a few landmarks, namely, one of the best totals put up by a team in the first innings, (187 runs), a fantastic partnership between the two openers of the MI, and, the most important of all, Sachin Tendulkar’s highest ever IPL total (68 runs).
Right from the beginning of the match, the KKR looked under pressure (evident from the mis-fielding in the very first ball, and also from the fact that Anureet Singh had to retire while trying to save a four hit by Tendulkar early in the match). The match was especially memorable because not even one wicket had fallen till the end of the first 10 overs. When Tendulkar finally did get out on an LBW appeal, (superb bowling by Lakshmi Shukla), it was not before he had made an amazing 68 runs off only 45 balls.
A surprising development was Harbhajan Singh coming in at 1-down. However, he did his job, and before he fell prey to Mendis, (caught out), he had hit two sixes, and made a total of 18 runs off just eight balls.
Then came Abhishek Nayar and J. P. Duminy, who failed to make any significant contributions. All this while, Jayasurya had stayed put, but finally got out on a ball by Shukla once again. However, he had, by then, made a fantastic 52 runs off only 32 balls. Thereafter, the wickets started falling in quick succession, but by the time the 20 overs were completed, the damage had been done, with the MI ending with a fabulous 187 – 6.
Like they say, ‘the game of cricket is never over until it’s over’, expectations were once again riding high on the openers of the KKR, Brendon McCullum and Chris Gayle. However, due to immense pressure on the two, only four runs were made in the first over. Soon, the wickets started falling as first McCullum (who got out on a ball by Lasith Malinga; one run off six balls) and then Gayle (ball – Bravo, catch – Tendulkar; 12 runs off 11 balls) got out. Former captain of the KKR, Saurav Ganguly, and Brad Hodge managed to get a 50 run partnership off 39 balls, but just when things were beginning to look up, they got out, too. From then on, it was a downward fall for the KKR, and before they knew it, they were all out after having made only 95 runs, thus losing by more that 90 runs, one of the worst scores ever by any team in an IPL match.
From the get-go, the MI looked determined to win the match. The ‘DLF Maximum’ award for hitting the maximum number of sixes was shared by the two openers of the MI, Tendulkar and Jayasurya, and the Man of the Match prize was also given to Tendulkar, while Lasith Malinga claimed the purple cap for taking the maximum number of wickets in the series till now.
By far one of the most entertaining matches in the season so far, this victory scooted the MI to the third position (where they must be very happy to be) and looking to make it to the top spot.
Match made in heaven
One can surely say that about the 15th match of the IPL, held on April 26, 2009, between King’s XI Punjab and Rajasthan Royals.
What started out as a fantastic game for the Rajasthan Royals, (what with the first wicket falling on the very first ball of the innings) soon became anybody’s match. After the fall of four wickets, all in quick succession of one another, the King’s XI looked under mighty pressure.
None of the players from the team of Punjab managed to stay on the field for very long under the expert bowling of Kamran Khan, and excellent fielding by Asnodkar (responsible for the fall of Karan Goel’s wicket on the very first ball due to stumping) and the rest of the team.
After the fall of the wickets of Yuvraj Singh – who looked very upset about it – and Irfan Pathan – who made sure that the team made a respectable total – it looked like all was lost. But the saving grace (and eventual Man of the Match) for the King’s XI, was Kumara Sangakarra, with his commendable 60 runs off only 51 balls. At the end of 20 overs, King’s XI Punjab were 6 wickets down and had managed to make a decent, if not great, 139 runs, while in the beginning, a total of even 120 looked difficult for them.
Then, it was the turn of the defending champions to bat. It looked like an easy total which they should have gotten without difficulty, but Irfan Pathan, still going strong and carrying on in the bowling from where he left off in the batting, took two important top order wickets. Soon, the wickets started falling, and after the fall of Ravinder Jadeja and Yusuf Pathan’s wickets – the last hopes of the Rajasthan Royals – the team’s fate was pretty-much decided.
Although the Rajasthan Royals lost the match by a big margin, (making this the second win for the King’s XI team on the trot) what is worth mentioning is Shane Warne’s amazing captaincy. He may not have shown his true worth as a bowler, (and indeed, his bowling did contribute to the opposition scoring many runs) his spirit on the field was very encouraging. Although he couldn’t run between the wickets very often, he did make it a point to stay right till the end, and, even while his team was fielding, whenever the opposite team’s player played well, he acknowledged it by applauding. Also, whenever his own team members mis-fielded – unlike other captains – he did not reprimand them; instead, he spoke to them about where they were going wrong; just like a true captain would.
All in all, it was a great game, and while it must have acted as a morale booster for the King’s XI, the Rajasthan Royals can be expected to come back stronger and better the next time!
What started out as a fantastic game for the Rajasthan Royals, (what with the first wicket falling on the very first ball of the innings) soon became anybody’s match. After the fall of four wickets, all in quick succession of one another, the King’s XI looked under mighty pressure.
None of the players from the team of Punjab managed to stay on the field for very long under the expert bowling of Kamran Khan, and excellent fielding by Asnodkar (responsible for the fall of Karan Goel’s wicket on the very first ball due to stumping) and the rest of the team.
After the fall of the wickets of Yuvraj Singh – who looked very upset about it – and Irfan Pathan – who made sure that the team made a respectable total – it looked like all was lost. But the saving grace (and eventual Man of the Match) for the King’s XI, was Kumara Sangakarra, with his commendable 60 runs off only 51 balls. At the end of 20 overs, King’s XI Punjab were 6 wickets down and had managed to make a decent, if not great, 139 runs, while in the beginning, a total of even 120 looked difficult for them.
Then, it was the turn of the defending champions to bat. It looked like an easy total which they should have gotten without difficulty, but Irfan Pathan, still going strong and carrying on in the bowling from where he left off in the batting, took two important top order wickets. Soon, the wickets started falling, and after the fall of Ravinder Jadeja and Yusuf Pathan’s wickets – the last hopes of the Rajasthan Royals – the team’s fate was pretty-much decided.
Although the Rajasthan Royals lost the match by a big margin, (making this the second win for the King’s XI team on the trot) what is worth mentioning is Shane Warne’s amazing captaincy. He may not have shown his true worth as a bowler, (and indeed, his bowling did contribute to the opposition scoring many runs) his spirit on the field was very encouraging. Although he couldn’t run between the wickets very often, he did make it a point to stay right till the end, and, even while his team was fielding, whenever the opposite team’s player played well, he acknowledged it by applauding. Also, whenever his own team members mis-fielded – unlike other captains – he did not reprimand them; instead, he spoke to them about where they were going wrong; just like a true captain would.
All in all, it was a great game, and while it must have acted as a morale booster for the King’s XI, the Rajasthan Royals can be expected to come back stronger and better the next time!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Exercise your right to not vote
On Wednesday, February 18, 2009, post-graduate students pursuing their Masters in Communication and Journalism (MCJ) from Mumbai University’s Department of Communication and Journalism held a guest lecture at Sophia College, Mumbai, which was attended by the students of Bachelor of Mass Media (B.M.M.). They spoke about their initiative, ‘Democracy Works’, which makes people aware of Rule 49-O of the Conduct of Indian Election Commission Rules, 1961. Also covering the event was news channel ____.
According to Rule 49-O, a registered voter can exercise his/her right not to vote for any candidate during elections. With the elections around the corner, this session was made all the more important. One of the speakers, Rahul Dubey, a post-graduate student of Journalism at the University of Mumbai, said, “If a voter thinks that the contesting candidates are not worthy of the vote, a ‘No Vote’ can be cast by signing form 17-A on the day of polling.”
Mr. Dubey, along with Mr. _______, who is a ________, explained to the students that this movement to make people aware of their right to cast a no vote was mainly for those individuals who are registered voters, but who do not vote during elections because they believe that none of the candidates deserve to win. This step, then, is a way to ensure ‘one less excuse not to cast a vote’.
The procedure to cast a No Vote is simple. On the day of the elections, voters must go to their respective voting centres, confirm their identity, and sign the register. They must then ask the presiding officer to give them form 17-A, where they must sign, as must the presiding officer. They must not press any buttons on the Electronic Voting Machine (EVM). This will be considered as a No Vote.
While speaking of the empowerment provided to citizens through Rule 49-O, Mr. _____ also pointed out the loopholes which may be a hindrance to the implementation of the rule. He explained by giving a hypothetical situation in which ‘X’ candidate and ‘Y’ candidate contest the elections. If, in such a situation, 70,000 votes are No Votes, followed by 65,000 and 60,000 votes for ‘X’ and ‘Y’ respectively, and ‘X’ were to be declared the winner, ‘Y’ could file a case stating that since 70,000 people voted against ‘X’, the latter can not be elected. In such a case scenario, there would have to be re-polls. To counter this, a student asked what would happen if there were re-polls; would the same people contest, thus leading to re-polls, resulting in an endless cycle? To this, Mr. _____replied that these were hypothetical assumptions which might not take place.
Another point brought to light was that in smaller constituencies, the people who cast a no vote might be known, which could endanger their safety. This, too, needs to be kept in mind and addressed.
In order to inform as many people as possible about ‘Democracy Works’, the students of MCJ, besides speaking with college students, are also trying to spread the message through the mass media, e-mails, SMSes, and word of mouth. After all, as Rahul Dubey said, “We have forgotten our fundamental right to vote, which is exercised even when we cast a No Vote.” And the time to begin exercising it is now.
According to Rule 49-O, a registered voter can exercise his/her right not to vote for any candidate during elections. With the elections around the corner, this session was made all the more important. One of the speakers, Rahul Dubey, a post-graduate student of Journalism at the University of Mumbai, said, “If a voter thinks that the contesting candidates are not worthy of the vote, a ‘No Vote’ can be cast by signing form 17-A on the day of polling.”
Mr. Dubey, along with Mr. _______, who is a ________, explained to the students that this movement to make people aware of their right to cast a no vote was mainly for those individuals who are registered voters, but who do not vote during elections because they believe that none of the candidates deserve to win. This step, then, is a way to ensure ‘one less excuse not to cast a vote’.
The procedure to cast a No Vote is simple. On the day of the elections, voters must go to their respective voting centres, confirm their identity, and sign the register. They must then ask the presiding officer to give them form 17-A, where they must sign, as must the presiding officer. They must not press any buttons on the Electronic Voting Machine (EVM). This will be considered as a No Vote.
While speaking of the empowerment provided to citizens through Rule 49-O, Mr. _____ also pointed out the loopholes which may be a hindrance to the implementation of the rule. He explained by giving a hypothetical situation in which ‘X’ candidate and ‘Y’ candidate contest the elections. If, in such a situation, 70,000 votes are No Votes, followed by 65,000 and 60,000 votes for ‘X’ and ‘Y’ respectively, and ‘X’ were to be declared the winner, ‘Y’ could file a case stating that since 70,000 people voted against ‘X’, the latter can not be elected. In such a case scenario, there would have to be re-polls. To counter this, a student asked what would happen if there were re-polls; would the same people contest, thus leading to re-polls, resulting in an endless cycle? To this, Mr. _____replied that these were hypothetical assumptions which might not take place.
Another point brought to light was that in smaller constituencies, the people who cast a no vote might be known, which could endanger their safety. This, too, needs to be kept in mind and addressed.
In order to inform as many people as possible about ‘Democracy Works’, the students of MCJ, besides speaking with college students, are also trying to spread the message through the mass media, e-mails, SMSes, and word of mouth. After all, as Rahul Dubey said, “We have forgotten our fundamental right to vote, which is exercised even when we cast a No Vote.” And the time to begin exercising it is now.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
A Friend Is All I Want
A friend is all I want,
A friend is all I need,
A friend who can,
Make me feel less incomplete.
A friend who is always ‘there’,
Not ‘here today, gone tomorrow’,
A friend who can share,
All my joys and all my sorrow.
A friend who will stand by me
Even if I ask for something wrong,
Because, that friend knows just what it is,
To feel having loved and lost.
Because this friend knows,
The way I think and feel.
The way I dread any threat;
What my friendship means to me.
A friend who can understand
My need to feel needed,
A friend who can tolerate,
My constant nagging and teasing.
It may be a lot to ask for,
In this day and age,
But if I find that friend somewhere,
I would never again be incomplete.
I would never cry again at night,
Without any reason,
I’d be less unhappy, insecure, guilty and lousy;
Perhaps I’d feel less like a loser, if I had that friend with me.
A friend is all I want,
A friend is all I need,
A friend who can,
Make me feel COMPLETE.
A friend is all I need,
A friend who can,
Make me feel less incomplete.
A friend who is always ‘there’,
Not ‘here today, gone tomorrow’,
A friend who can share,
All my joys and all my sorrow.
A friend who will stand by me
Even if I ask for something wrong,
Because, that friend knows just what it is,
To feel having loved and lost.
Because this friend knows,
The way I think and feel.
The way I dread any threat;
What my friendship means to me.
A friend who can understand
My need to feel needed,
A friend who can tolerate,
My constant nagging and teasing.
It may be a lot to ask for,
In this day and age,
But if I find that friend somewhere,
I would never again be incomplete.
I would never cry again at night,
Without any reason,
I’d be less unhappy, insecure, guilty and lousy;
Perhaps I’d feel less like a loser, if I had that friend with me.
A friend is all I want,
A friend is all I need,
A friend who can,
Make me feel COMPLETE.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
On….
The following is a chat message between me and my friend. I am sure that you must be wondering why I’ve left the topic of this particular conversation blank. But this is one topic I’ll never be able to explain, so I’ll just leave it upto all of you to decide for yourselves.
NOTE: All the names,except mine are fictional, for obvious reason.
Me: Hey! Sorry, got disconnected.
Hetal: It’s all right.
Me: You care a damn about what?
Hetal: Ketan's good side.
Me: OK. In any case, he's not the type to sit and mope around… I am sure he's moved on, and I guess I have, too... it’s just that everytime I think of him or see him, it really hurts, man!
Hetal: Rash ya, just get over him… You know, he’s not a bad guy. Actually he’s just OK… but not your type.
Me: I thought you said he was not good? I am trying to get over him, but it takes me more time than most people. Even if I hate a person, it really stays with me.... even in my hatred I think of that person... which is why I am always so... ‘exaggerating’, like Tarun says... I can’t let go easily.
Me: Anyway, I have been, and probably always will be, a hopeless case. Forget it. Maybe someday I'll learn... (fat chance, though).
Hetal: Ha ha ha.
Me: Oh, by the way, I don’t think I need to tell you that this remains between us. Why are you laughing?
Hetal: Chill, Rash. Life screws you, but you gotta move on.
Me: Actually, do, I'll laugh with you. Yeah I know…
Hetal: Didn’t get you?!
Me: You were laughing, so I said, “Actually, do, I'll laugh with you”. But, jokes aside, I don’t think I need to tell you that this conversation remains between us?
Hetal: Yeah obviously.
Me: Please don’t – even by mistake – ever mention it, or I'll never be able to live it down!
Hetal: I won’t! Trust me.
Me: I know you won't.
Hetal: Merci.
Me: Anyway, hey, am so sorry for screwing up your mood also... just that I had to tell one of you at least... I felt like I was being eaten up inside.
Hetal: Hey, who said my mood is screwed?
Me: If it ain't that's great!
Hetal: In fact I’m glad that I could be of some use for you to lighten up.
Me: Friends don't need to be 'of use', Hetal, not for me, anyway... as long as they care... I am very happy.
Hetal: I really care and don’t you ever forget that.
Me: I do know that.
Epilogue: I know, this one’s really dramatic. I do sound so filmy. But sometimes one just can’t keep one’s feelings with oneself. That’s exactly how I felt when I spoke to Hetal. This is one of my favourites because not only does it talk about a person whom maybe I once liked, (as I’m sure you must have guessed), but it also reflects my friendships – not just with Hetal, but with all the people that I have ever considered good friends in my life.
NOTE: All the names,except mine are fictional, for obvious reason.
Me: Hey! Sorry, got disconnected.
Hetal: It’s all right.
Me: You care a damn about what?
Hetal: Ketan's good side.
Me: OK. In any case, he's not the type to sit and mope around… I am sure he's moved on, and I guess I have, too... it’s just that everytime I think of him or see him, it really hurts, man!
Hetal: Rash ya, just get over him… You know, he’s not a bad guy. Actually he’s just OK… but not your type.
Me: I thought you said he was not good? I am trying to get over him, but it takes me more time than most people. Even if I hate a person, it really stays with me.... even in my hatred I think of that person... which is why I am always so... ‘exaggerating’, like Tarun says... I can’t let go easily.
Me: Anyway, I have been, and probably always will be, a hopeless case. Forget it. Maybe someday I'll learn... (fat chance, though).
Hetal: Ha ha ha.
Me: Oh, by the way, I don’t think I need to tell you that this remains between us. Why are you laughing?
Hetal: Chill, Rash. Life screws you, but you gotta move on.
Me: Actually, do, I'll laugh with you. Yeah I know…
Hetal: Didn’t get you?!
Me: You were laughing, so I said, “Actually, do, I'll laugh with you”. But, jokes aside, I don’t think I need to tell you that this conversation remains between us?
Hetal: Yeah obviously.
Me: Please don’t – even by mistake – ever mention it, or I'll never be able to live it down!
Hetal: I won’t! Trust me.
Me: I know you won't.
Hetal: Merci.
Me: Anyway, hey, am so sorry for screwing up your mood also... just that I had to tell one of you at least... I felt like I was being eaten up inside.
Hetal: Hey, who said my mood is screwed?
Me: If it ain't that's great!
Hetal: In fact I’m glad that I could be of some use for you to lighten up.
Me: Friends don't need to be 'of use', Hetal, not for me, anyway... as long as they care... I am very happy.
Hetal: I really care and don’t you ever forget that.
Me: I do know that.
Epilogue: I know, this one’s really dramatic. I do sound so filmy. But sometimes one just can’t keep one’s feelings with oneself. That’s exactly how I felt when I spoke to Hetal. This is one of my favourites because not only does it talk about a person whom maybe I once liked, (as I’m sure you must have guessed), but it also reflects my friendships – not just with Hetal, but with all the people that I have ever considered good friends in my life.
Friday, October 10, 2008
LOST AND … NOT FOUND
– My Experience
I have possibly set a record by now for having lost the maximum number of wallets. Just today, I’ve lost yet another one.
Sometimes I’m lucky enough not to have been carrying money on me when I lose my wallets, but today this was not the case. I actually had more than Rs. 200 in my wallet, but that’s immaterial. I had my ID cards, and, most importantly, my house keys!! Add to this the fact that I had an exam paper for which I was as unprepared as unprepared can get, and you can begin to imagine what I felt; not completely, that is impossible to do until one actually faces the situation oneself, but, you can at least begin to sympathise, if not empathise, with me.
The keys that were there in my wallet were those of the Godrej lock, the kind that are in – built in your door. But, other than that, I was also carrying the keys to the other, external lock, just in case we use it sometime. So, now, not only the Godrej lock keys, but also those of the external lock are of no use, because I can’t possibly use the external lock again, given that I literally gave an invitation to any robber, what with my address on the ID cards and BOTH the keys!!!
Had it been sometime since this whole incident had happened, I might have even been able to look at it with some humour. But it’s not been too long, and, considering that I’m sitting on the steps outside my door, waiting for my friends to bring me the spare keys from my brother’s shop while I came here to guard over the door, it is not so funny. Even as I’m writing this last sentence, I’m wondering when my helpful friends, Tusharika and Krunali, will be back so I can get into the house and knock about a few things that no robber has yet dared to come and already do, in order to vent my frustration!!! (PUNCH)!!!!
I have possibly set a record by now for having lost the maximum number of wallets. Just today, I’ve lost yet another one.
Sometimes I’m lucky enough not to have been carrying money on me when I lose my wallets, but today this was not the case. I actually had more than Rs. 200 in my wallet, but that’s immaterial. I had my ID cards, and, most importantly, my house keys!! Add to this the fact that I had an exam paper for which I was as unprepared as unprepared can get, and you can begin to imagine what I felt; not completely, that is impossible to do until one actually faces the situation oneself, but, you can at least begin to sympathise, if not empathise, with me.
The keys that were there in my wallet were those of the Godrej lock, the kind that are in – built in your door. But, other than that, I was also carrying the keys to the other, external lock, just in case we use it sometime. So, now, not only the Godrej lock keys, but also those of the external lock are of no use, because I can’t possibly use the external lock again, given that I literally gave an invitation to any robber, what with my address on the ID cards and BOTH the keys!!!
Had it been sometime since this whole incident had happened, I might have even been able to look at it with some humour. But it’s not been too long, and, considering that I’m sitting on the steps outside my door, waiting for my friends to bring me the spare keys from my brother’s shop while I came here to guard over the door, it is not so funny. Even as I’m writing this last sentence, I’m wondering when my helpful friends, Tusharika and Krunali, will be back so I can get into the house and knock about a few things that no robber has yet dared to come and already do, in order to vent my frustration!!! (PUNCH)!!!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
On one ear…
Sounds funny, doesn’t it? Well, it’s the truth. Ask me. I’ve been listening and hearing things only partially since the last ten odd days, thanks to the deafness of my right ear. Frankly, it’s not all righty’s (for convenience purposes, I’ll refer to my right ear as righty and its left counterpart at lefty) fault. Two days back in the morning, righty had popped and I could hear the music of the world. (Yes, it’s true, only when you’re deprived of something, you realise how much it’s worth.) However, being the mischief-maker that he is, righty soon decided to block up again and leave me with no option but to ask people to either scream themselves hoarse, (I’m not exaggerating, I’ve always been slightly deaf as compared to other people) or to stand on my left so that dear lefty could do the needful. Hope all this isn’t confusing you.
It’s really not funny. Definitely not when you are in college and one of your dear darling professors decides to play Chinese whispers with the whole class at the same time, especially while taking what most students (excluding me, mind you,) live for – ATTENDANCE. So if I miss attendance, which I thankfully haven’t as yet, I’d have to let myself to be considered absent, in spite of the fact that my physical self and my dynamic personality (alright, not dynamic personality, my voice, happy?) just cannot allow it!
Imagine being left out of games like the afore mentioned Chinese Whispers and Dumb Charades for fear that if you are included, the other team will win, purely because you have to be told loudly enough for the Chinese whisper to reach Japan!
Oh yes, I know what you’re thinking. In some cases, it is also a boon. I guess you’ve already figured out what those small mercies of God are – shouting classmates, scolding parents, boring professors… you get the drift. But trust me, a day or two of this stuff, and you’re ready to get back to having the use of both precious ears! After all, how else can one put into action the famous saying, “In through one ear, out the other”. So while I have my five senses in tact, [no, I am not THAT bad at Math, I mean five senses, my sixth sense, clairsentience, as it is called, (go check a dictionary) is currently serving as my fifth sense, understood, Mr. wise guy?] I want my sixth sense, or, in actuality, my fifth sense, back as soon as possible.
Wait a minute. That last sentence was really confusing, wasn’t it? Well, basically what I mean is… I WANT MY HEARING POWERS BACK, ASAP!!!
It’s really not funny. Definitely not when you are in college and one of your dear darling professors decides to play Chinese whispers with the whole class at the same time, especially while taking what most students (excluding me, mind you,) live for – ATTENDANCE. So if I miss attendance, which I thankfully haven’t as yet, I’d have to let myself to be considered absent, in spite of the fact that my physical self and my dynamic personality (alright, not dynamic personality, my voice, happy?) just cannot allow it!
Imagine being left out of games like the afore mentioned Chinese Whispers and Dumb Charades for fear that if you are included, the other team will win, purely because you have to be told loudly enough for the Chinese whisper to reach Japan!
Oh yes, I know what you’re thinking. In some cases, it is also a boon. I guess you’ve already figured out what those small mercies of God are – shouting classmates, scolding parents, boring professors… you get the drift. But trust me, a day or two of this stuff, and you’re ready to get back to having the use of both precious ears! After all, how else can one put into action the famous saying, “In through one ear, out the other”. So while I have my five senses in tact, [no, I am not THAT bad at Math, I mean five senses, my sixth sense, clairsentience, as it is called, (go check a dictionary) is currently serving as my fifth sense, understood, Mr. wise guy?] I want my sixth sense, or, in actuality, my fifth sense, back as soon as possible.
Wait a minute. That last sentence was really confusing, wasn’t it? Well, basically what I mean is… I WANT MY HEARING POWERS BACK, ASAP!!!
Friday, September 5, 2008
FOUND AND LOST
This was Tuesday. On Wednesday, after a busy morning at home, she entered a nearby cafe and ordered a small sandwhich. She began reading the magazine that she had brought with her. She sensed a presence at the table and expected it to be the waiter, but her words died on her lips before she could utter them. For the man standing there was no waiter. He was Justin. Justin, the man she hated, Justin, the man she loved… As it did all those years ago, his nearness made her heart beat faster. Justin wasn’t a man of extraordinary good looks. Neither was she, Sarah Joseph, an easily impressed woman. But this man…
“You!” she exclaimed. In all fairness, Sarah was never soft. She had the kind of voice which always seemed loud, no matter how softly she spoke. And so, people around turned to see what had happened to make this beautiful lady scream like the devil were after her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, lowering her voice. Cool as ever, he replied with that soft timber in his voice, “Last time I checked, people came to cafes for refreshments. Don’t know if things have changed a lot since then.” He pushed a chair back with his foot and sat down carefully, as if afraid of something. “So you still read sports magazines. Haven’t changed much, have you?” he asked once he’d settled down.
“You!” she exclaimed. In all fairness, Sarah was never soft. She had the kind of voice which always seemed loud, no matter how softly she spoke. And so, people around turned to see what had happened to make this beautiful lady scream like the devil were after her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, lowering her voice. Cool as ever, he replied with that soft timber in his voice, “Last time I checked, people came to cafes for refreshments. Don’t know if things have changed a lot since then.” He pushed a chair back with his foot and sat down carefully, as if afraid of something. “So you still read sports magazines. Haven’t changed much, have you?” he asked once he’d settled down.
“Not everyone changes as rapidly as you,” she told him acidly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”
“Won’t you at least ask how I’ve been?”
“I couldn’t care less,” she said, and gathering her belongings, walked off without looking back.
Once she was a good distance away, Sarah released the breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. Where had this man come from so suddenly and why was he here? What did he want from her after so long? What was it that Mary had told her yesterday? “That man was a fiend!” Yes, that was what she had said. And Sarah had told her that now that he was gone, there was no point in talking about him. In fact, she’d been keener on watching Michael Schumacher on television rather than listening to her childhood friend. At least that was what she had told her. What she really wanted was nothing more than an explanation from Justin. She wouldn’t even blame him; she just needed answers. He’d been gone five years without a trace.
She had been aware of Mary saying something about Samantha to her, but she wasn’t really listening. She had had enough on her mind without having to worry about her best friend’s daughter. They had been at Sarah’s house. A cosy little place, conveniently located in Manhattan, but empty. Empty because there were no family conversations in the living room, no fights between siblings at the dining table, no lovers’ disputes in the bedroom. Empty because she was alone… Now. But she hadn’t always been alone. She had known, briefly, a similar bliss, a bliss she had shared with Justin. She had been shaken out of her reverie when Mary had touched her arm and she’d looked up guiltily, realising that she hadn’t been listening to her friend at all.
But all this was yesterday, Tuesday. Today, on Wednesday, everything had changed. Once again she was facing the same dilemma as she had when Justin had left her after three years of a steady relationship — without giving any reason — but this time, for coming back. She reached her flat and took some comfort in its familiarity. The advantage of being a freelance writer was that she could work from home at her leisure. She took a bottle of soda from the refrigerator and sat to complete the short story that she had begun earlier.
However, her thoughts began to wander. There was something that had struck her as odd when she had met Justin at the cafe, but she hadn’t been able to recollect what it was. Now she knew. She hadn’t waited long, but she remembered seeing that Justin had worn a jacket over a neatly pressed shirt. And Justin hated jackets. “Makes me feel claustrophobic,” he used to say. Moreover, the jacket had been draped over his shoulders, he wasn’t actually wearing it; and that had given him a careless, untidy look. If there was one thing about Justin, it was that he was never untidy. “A lot has changed since he left, the least of that being his dressing sense,” Sarah chided herself.
She tried to focus on what she was doing, but her mind strayed again. There was something about the way he’d sat at the table… “Stop it!” she shouted aloud to herself and called herself all kinds of a fool for worrying so much, and for a guy like Justin at that. She got back to writing the story and was able, by the end, to give Jason and Susan a happy ending. “How ironic,” she thought, “Jason and Susan… Justin and Sarah.” The thought brought a mirthless smile to her face. It was already touching seven o’ clock by the time she finished writing her story, so she left her apartment to grab a quick bite to eat. She knew she should stop eating out so much, but she was in no mood to cook today. If she could swallow a bite or two, it would be an achievement.
But on her way, she ran into Mary. “Hello there. Where are you off to?” Mary asked her.
“Just going to catch a quick supper.”
“No way are you eating out again. Come on home. Alex is out, we’ll eat together. You can meet Samantha as well, she’s been asking about her Godmother.”
Sarah hesitated only for a moment. After all, she hadn’t met the little angel in quite some time. Once at Mary’s house, Sarah decided to confide in her. By the time she finished telling her, Mary was purple with rage. “How dare he! The creep!” Sarah tried to get her friend to calm down, and wouldn’t have succeeded if Samantha hadn’t walked into the kitchen at that very instant and promptly planted herself in Sarah’s lap. After supper, Sarah waited till Samantha fell asleep, and left with Mary’s words fresh in her mind. “I don’t know why he’s here, but don’t let him near you. I can’t see you get hurt again.”
On reaching home, she started another story, and due to the fatigue of the day, fell asleep at her desk. She awoke directly late next morning and went to make herself a cup of coffee. But there was none in the house, so once more she headed towards the cafe to have some coffee and a decent breakfast because she had barely picked at her food at Mary’s. As she sat in a corner of the almost full cafe, Philip, the waiter, who knew her well by now, took her order. When he returned with it, he handed her a letter.
“A gentleman asked me to give you this, miss. He told me your name and asked me if I knew you and when I said yes, gave it to me and requested that I hand it to you whenever you came next.”
Sarah felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. “Did he say who he was?”
“No, I’m sorry, he didn’t say, miss.”
“Thank you, Philip.” Sarah tried to open the envelope, but her fingers shook terribly. Finally she managed to open it. “Dearest Sarah,” it began. Sarah drew in a deep breath, but read on.
Dearest Sarah,
I know you hate me, as you have every right to, for what I did to you was unforgivable. The only reason I am writing to you after so long, is because I couldn’t leave again without letting you know how much I love you. Because I do. I love you with all my heart and I couldn’t bear to let you think otherwise. If you cannot forgive me, at least try not to hate me.
Forever yours,
Justin
Sarah realised she was crying. And she was puzzled. What did the letter mean? Also, the handwriting was most definitely not Justin’s. Yet, somehow, it looked familiar. Suddenly she knew. She got up, payed for her untouched breakfast hastily, and, leaving a tip for Philip, took a cab to Mary’s house. She found Mary reading a book. “It’s funny, you know,” she said without preamble. “I just received a letter from Justin, but guess what, he’s not written it!” Mary blanched, but regained her composure quickly.
“Well, he must have had someone else write it. What does he want now?”
“Yes, he got someone else to write it. But who? And can’t you guess what he had to say? After all, you did write the letter for him!”
Mary tried to speak, but Sarah went on. “What’s going on, Mary? Come on, I know he’s been talking to you.” Sarah was glad Mary was alone at home. She wouldn’t have liked to confront her with Alex and Samantha around.
“Well… you remember Justin met you yesterday?” Mary asked Sarah.
“Am I likely to forget that any time soon?”
“Sorry, no, of course not. So did you happen to notice what he was wearing?”
“A pair of jeans, a shirt, silk, if it’s of any interest to you, and a jacket. But —”
“Yes. A jacket. And I know as well as you obviously do that Justin —”
“— Hates jackets,” Sarah cut in. “So?”
“You must have thought it rather odd.”
“Well, even if I did, what of it?” she asked, getting irritated by this mindless question and answer session.
“And did he shake hands with you?”
“No, he didn’t. He just came out of nowhere, was wearing a jacket, didn’t shake hands with me, pushed back a chair with his foot, and sat down on it! I’ve told you all there was to tell, but what in heavens has that got to do with —” Sarah stopped speaking and grew so white, Mary thought she would faint.
“Sarah, are you alright? I’m sorry, but he knew I am your best friend and asked me to write to you. He didn’t know anyone else. He came by early today morning. I was very angry when I saw him, but he dropped his jacket, and then… and then I knew.”
“What… how… when,” stuttered Sarah, unable to form a complete sentence.
“Two days after you left for Chicago to meet your aunt. He was at the factory when something went wrong with the machinery. He decided to take a look for himself and suddenly the machine he was examining started, and — Sarah?”
Sarah looked dazed. “Why did he leave? Why didn’t he tell me?” But she already knew why. He hadn’t wanted to see her hurt, and hurt she would be, by the thought of those arms never carrying all her shopping bags, of never holding her again, of… So he had decided to make her hate him by deserting her instead. He’d even sold the factory, and no one had known where he went. “Where is he now? I will kill him for running off on me like that,” she said, but she knew she would do no such thing. Again Mary looked uncomfortable as if she’d dreaded this question. “He said I was not to tell you about the letter, but we should’ve known you’d guess. He… he left, but he didn’t tell me where he was going either, I swear. I tried to stop him, but he — Sarah, Sarah! Wait, where are you going?”
But Sarah left the house, and, as if in a trance, walked to the river, the place that gave her solace. But today the river would do more than just give her solace. She touched her bag. Once she reached the river, she removed the thin, round metal object which glinted in the sun. She had always carried it with her, thinking she herself would be ready whenever he asked. She still carried it with her. But she wouldn’t need it anymore.
“This post is the official entry to Star World Betty of Elle Contest- http://www.starworld.in/”
Entering this contest will give me a chance at winning an internship with Elle magazine, which is a leader in the field of fashion and beauty writing. I'm a student of mass media and have always wanted to be a writer. After having interned with one magazine and written for some others, this internship with Elle will only help me learn more and take my growth curve ahead. The internship will be help me grow as a writer and add to not only my portfolio, but also my confidence of being a writer, and I'm therefore keen on winning it!
P.S.: “Ugly Betty” sure is great inspiration!
A KITE
FAR AWAY
ON A MOONLIT NIGHT,
THERE FELL UPON THE RIVER
A HIGH FLYING KITE.
SO MAGNIFICENT
AND SO BRIGHT,
WHEN SEEN IN THE MORN
BROUGHT PEOPLE DELIGHT.
NO ONE KNEW
FROM WHENCE IT CAME,
BUT THEY KNEW FOR SURE
IT WASN’T ANYONE’S GAME.
FOR IT SHOWED
TWO LOVERS YOUNG,
EACH OF WHOM
TO THE OTHER CLUNG.
ON THEIR FACES
WAS A GLOW,
FROM LOVE OR PAIN,
WAS FOR NAUGHT TO KNOW.
A CHILD SO EXCITED
AS IF ON CUE,
CAUGHT IT AT THE BANK,
BEHIND IT THE WORDS, ‘I LOVE YOU’.
FAR AWAY
ON A MOONLIT NIGHT,
MOURNED A MOTHER
HER CHILD’S PLIGHT.
ON A MOONLIT NIGHT,
THERE FELL UPON THE RIVER
A HIGH FLYING KITE.
SO MAGNIFICENT
AND SO BRIGHT,
WHEN SEEN IN THE MORN
BROUGHT PEOPLE DELIGHT.
NO ONE KNEW
FROM WHENCE IT CAME,
BUT THEY KNEW FOR SURE
IT WASN’T ANYONE’S GAME.
FOR IT SHOWED
TWO LOVERS YOUNG,
EACH OF WHOM
TO THE OTHER CLUNG.
ON THEIR FACES
WAS A GLOW,
FROM LOVE OR PAIN,
WAS FOR NAUGHT TO KNOW.
A CHILD SO EXCITED
AS IF ON CUE,
CAUGHT IT AT THE BANK,
BEHIND IT THE WORDS, ‘I LOVE YOU’.
FAR AWAY
ON A MOONLIT NIGHT,
MOURNED A MOTHER
HER CHILD’S PLIGHT.
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